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The Distorted Lens
The dark and cracked lens that I see myself through is a difficult sight. It holds all of my flaws and failures in perfect view. It highlights the shimmering flecks of my pain and all of the dark spots of shame.
It is magical and has amazing clarity in the areas I am not achieving while casting shadows on the things I am most proud of. This distorted lens is like a circus house of mirrors and I no longer can tell what my body looks like, it morphs and distorts the edges and I have lost all perspective.
I take a moment to reflect on what it might feel like to look through the lens through which I view others; my friends, my loved ones, and my clients.
Would I be able to see my Self?
Would I hold compassion for my hurts and trauma? Could I see the innocence of my inner child longing to be seen? Could I see my courage and determination? Could I acknowledge that indeed I too was doing the best I could?
What a dizzying concept?
Why is it so difficult to offer the same love and compassion we give to others? I know I am not alone in this struggle as it is a foreign concept I talk about in my sessions.
When did we lose the capacity to love ourselves and our human-ness?