Decentering the “I” in psychedelic healing

The system is making us sick and we are seeking healing to aid us in living our lives. The paradox is that we want to feel better to continue living in the system that is actually the cause of our pathology. We have internalized this shame that something is wrong if we are not happy in our pursuit of healing and self-actualization. The absurdity of this has stopped me in my tracks. What am I actually doing? Personally and Professionally? I have bought into the system and I am continuing to run on the hamster wheel. Not only that, I have unknowingly encouraged the same from people who come to me for help. I am bewildered and lost and angry that the system, the colonized system, lives on in this iteration of wellness that is mental health today.

As I deepen my relationship with plant medicines, I have been sold on the illusions of the psychedelic renaissance. I am guilty of using plant medicines for personal power and personal healing. As I commit deeper and deeper to this path I see how this is also part of the ongoing problem. If I am consuming these medicines for my own benefit I am no different than the history of extraction, appropriation, and personal benefit that our colonized system has been founded on. If I am sitting and guiding others towards their own healing and liberation then I am again complicit in reinforcing this harmful narrative.